Looking Back: The Beautiful, Messy Journey of Being a Working Mom, Single Mom and Entrepreneur.

When I look back on my journey as a mom, specifically a single mom, and an entrepreneur; I feel a wave of emotions that's hard to name. I wasn't just working a job; I was building something from scratch while raising two kids. I was chasing dreams and paying bills at the same time. I was in survival mode some days, visionary mode on others and often both before lunch.

From the beginning, I had one clear goal: To raise my kids to be strong enough to go out into the world and truly excel and be able to stand on their own two feet and live meaningful, independently happy lives. That was always the mission. But, even with that kind of purpose, I still sometimes focus on where I failed instead of where I succeeded. It's like my brain has a highlighter just for the moments I wish I could redo.

I remember how my kids could tell when I was about to lose it because I'd start lecturing myself through clenched teeth.  It makes us laugh now, but I know when they were younger, it was probably confusing or even a little scary. I was trying so hard to stay in control, to hold the line, and to carry all the weight without letting it crush any of us. 

I also tried to get along with their dad. Truly, I did try. I know I picked some of those fights. At the time, they felt like righteous battles. I believed I was standing up for myself and for my kids.  I now understand that a lot of those things I had held onto, I probably could've let them go. I see the value of peace over being right, but it took time and experience to learn that.

 I'm incredibly lucky, I'm close with both my son and my daughter. We made it through those hard, growing years and now I get to see the adults they've become. They're strong, kind, and capable people - that's a win!

I'm also blessed with a bigger, blended family now. In this new season, I feel a deep desire to get it right again; to love well, to lead and to be present in a way that honors all we've been through. 

Being a bonus mom is one of the most meaningful and delicate roles I've ever stepped into. I don't take lightly the trust it takes for a child to open their heart to someone new, and my hope is always to earn that trust through love, consistency, and respect. I want to be the kind of stepmom who brings comfort and support.  I deeply honor the family they had before ours came together. I know I'm not here to replace anyone, but rather to add to the love they already have and to help create a home where all parts of their story are valued and respected. At the end of the day, love is the most important part of being a family; even in the chaos and in the grind of learning and growing.  You don't have to be a perfect parent, just a present one. Keep showing up and keep loving hard, the rest works itself out.